The main request nearly every morning of my life was "God use me today!" And I have been so blessed that He has. Blessed more so that many times I knew it and saw the 'fruit of my labor.' So now my request is the same but now I'm rather confused.. but this pandemic/stay at home will do that to ya, eh? My goal each morning is to be more thankful than I was yesterday, more loving, more kind, more understanding, etc.
Here I am Lord! Use me!
However (mine not His) I am now an 80 year old woman, thank you Jesus, and for the past 5 plus months I have had little or no contact with the outside world! Except here in my blog and on social media, I've only had contact with 4 people or so and then not very 'close' contact.
So now that I cannot 'see' the fruits of my labors am I still being used by the Lord? Do I have any value to Him my daily life being such as it is?
Before all this crap my daily goal was to make people laugh, at least smile, every day! Every one I met. Who do I meet now? Laughter is healing! I want to be a beacon of healing in this awful world!
I just don't see how God can use me in this situation.
The ONLY thing I can do for myself, for anyone, for our country, etc. is to pray! Now that I can do and I am doing, all day long. As I read the posts of others on FaceBook I stop for a minute and pray for them. I have a list of family and friends that I pray over at least once a day. I keep my heart 'open' to God all day, praising Him, thanking Him, petitioning Him as the day goes on. I KNOW there is power in prayer. That is why I have a reminder on my phone to let me know when it's 8 pm so I can take at least a minute to pray for our country! Hopefully there are several others that are doing the same... where 2 or more, yanno?
I CAN say that I still see answered prayer in my daily life! I see and hear of folks I have prayed for and their healing! Thank you, Lord, for giving me that blessing. Else I must trust that God hears my prayers and will answer them even if I don't know about it.
But I have also seen people and things I've prayed for going wrong. I never prayed as hard as I did for my granddaughter, Amy Lynn Amy, and yet she still apparently took her own life at 36 yrs old. Why could I not convince her that she was valuable? Especially to her children if not to me. One of my heartaches for sure.
So, I'm wondering.. is God still able to use me? Even in this time of pandemic? I truly don't know, but God I hope so..
Here I am, Lord, Use Me!!