I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't know if I am depressed, or lack motivation, or am getting lazy or just plain getting old. Whatever it is I do not like it.
There are so many things I need to do. Things I want to do. Yet, I just cannot seem to get them started, let alone done.
I've neglected my housework to the extent of slovenlyness. OH I can keep the basics done.. I have a Roomba to keep most of the dirt off the floors. I manage to get the dishes done a couple times a week and the laundry done each week. But that's about all. I don't even want to cook! Even when I have something to cook.
I pray I am not just getting lazy.
I do manage to get to mentor once a week, and generally run any errands while I"m out. But some days it's a struggle to get ready and out of the house.
I am managing to get to the stadium to work. Last season even going to my beloved ball games took some major effort.
I try to keep up with my health. I see numerous doctors regularly.
I try to keep up with my medications and take them almost regularly.
I am VERY out of shape. I would love to exercise again. Not certain that I could. I'm hoping that the Grimms will open their pool to me again this summer and really want to go back to the wellness center.
I believe that physically, except for the falling thing, I am capable to do these things. I will need to start slowly and not overdo it.
I am able to do things more than I used to. It used to take me a long time just to make my bed. I had to rest between putting on each sheet, etc. Now I can make the whole bed at one time.
Same with the dishes. I can now do the whole sinkful at once, not having to stop in the middle.
I have a huge concern about gaining all the weight that I've lost. It keeps me from going grocery shopping. If there is food in the house, especially the snacks and things I do not have to cook.
Please guide me and direct me to do whatever I need to do so I can find my way back.
Please be with the Bush family. I am so grateful that Barbara Bush was in our world to do so much good. Sometimes I feel that my life has had no meaning. I try to pass along the great love you have for me to everyone I meet.
I pray that each and every day I can bring a little joy in someone's life. Whether in person, on line, or even on the phone. I love to make people laugh as laughter is healing.
Although I know I am never alone I have been feeling very lonely lately.
Lord please touch all my family and friends with your healing touch in whatever need they may have.
I love you with all my heart and soul, God
Amen