With all I've been through these past several months, imagine my surprise when I opened my Our Daily Bread Bible study for today and read "Don't Give Up!"
Yesterday when I started calling creditors to begin to fix my financial situation, I knew my Spirit was providing me with the courage to do it. I could feel it in my entire being. Like a warm wash over me. I didn't give up! I had great success with the first bank I dealt with and it encouraged me to go on to the next. I had several I would have to deal with.
Imagine my joy when the 2nd bank directed me to a company that works with folks like me to help them get out of their debt. I know that God frowns on debt of any kind and the immense pit my depression and desperation last fall had me falling deeper into was overwhelming to me. I saw no way to get out without help. God wasn't going to hand me the money to pay it off, I knew that for certain.
The woman who helped me was named Grace!! Can you imagine? I told her she was amazing Grace for sure. She said she got that a lot.. lol She was so kind, so understanding, and so encouraging. She was impressed with what I had done with the first bank and said I probably did better than they would have done! WOW! I knew it wasn't me, it was God!
Let me back up a bit. Last year I was diagnosed with the digestive problem. This meant I had to buy certain foods and they were the ones that were more expensive. I was no longer able to get by with the 'cheapie' stuff. Not to mention the pain of my chronic sciatica, the plantar faciitis, to mention a few of my issues. No wonder I got depressed eh?
At the same time, because my credit was so good, I was getting letter after letter from my creditors increasing my credit! I even received a new card from American Express, a platinum card, and it was made out of some metal!! Of course it had a $550 annual fee but for the first year it was ONLY $225!! I almost laughed myself silly. The benefits of this card were outrageous and no limit! Of course I called and told them no thank you...
The problem with all this credit, and the many catalogs I receive with 'pre-approved' credit, is that no one sends me checks to pay for all this! And the government isn't going to give me a raise any time soon, eh?
I love those catalogs! Especially during Christmas. I sit and shop for hours and hours. I mark all the things I would buy for my family and friends.. Big circles and write their names in them. Then I close the catalog and toss it in the trash!! It's the thought that counts eh? Each one comes with a note that I have $750, $900 even $1,500 credit available to me! YIKES!!
Yes I had such good credit that they were willing to give me more and more...
I will admit I did spend some of it. I bought a few things that I could have done without but that have made my life so much easier. I bought the things that would help me prepare the meals I had to eat for my disgestive disorder, an air fryer and copper fry pan.
Don't misunderstand. I didn't go ballistic! I bought everything on sale, special deals, no shipping and handling, etc. I bought food from Boxed (it was amazing by the way) at 15% off and no S&H. I used my Amazon card to get prime and was able to get supplies for the dogs on special deals and no shipping. I was very careful how I spent that credit and will admit I got a lot of bang for my buck!! For that I am proud.
I bought the food that I needed to eat. I made certain my dogs had plenty of food and treats. I made certain they had the meds they needed and got their shots. All on the credit cards.
Soon I had to use the credit cards to pay my monthly expenses and for other cards. I was a regular at the bank to get cash from the cards to pay my bills.. it was a horrible trap.
All the time I knew what I was doing was only getting me deeper into something I could not get out of. And the depression only got worse.
Then I ordered that face cream and got stuck for $300 including bank charges and sit here with a huge deficit in my checking account.. for the first time EVER in my life. And no income in sight until the 1st which is still days away..
What saved my behind is that I sought help before the late payments etc. got out of hand. I had only missed one month of payments when I went asking for help.
Now I know I have done the right thing! The company that the bank directed me to will take over paying most of my credit. They will get the interest reduced, perhaps the payments reduced, and Grace said that I will be debt free in 4 years! WOW!
Don't Give Up!!
Having to destroy all that precious plastic, including my beloved Wahoos card, was scary.. it was all I had to fall back on. I still have one card left that I need to pay off each month and I need to watch that carefully. I will make the payments on the first bank I spoke to. But all the rest is totally out of my hands now. And my payment each month?? less than half of what I was trying to pay each month. If I am very careful I can once again start buying the food I need for my diet. I have been living on what I had in the freezer.. not stuff I should be eating, but God hasn't let me be too sick. However, the freezer now only holds coffee and bread! lol The cupboard is almost completely bare and I even used the last of the Ramen yesterday!
I will go shopping today. But, I'm scared! I'm afraid to trust myself not to go overboard in spending. It's so easy to do even using coupons and buying things on sale. It seems that every time I go shopping with my list, the things on it are on sale or special or I find them in the clearance, etc. God is so good to me.
Of all the fruits of the Spirit, "self control" has been the one I have the most trouble with. God help me get control of my spending. I have been a very poor steward of all that you have given me. I am not proud of my actions, but I am kinda proud of the solutions I am working on.
God is in control. God only wants good for me. God has better things in store for me than I could ever imagine. I will never limit God in my prayer requests because He will give me more and better things. Praise The Lord!!