I'm back up to 244 pounds but trying desperately to stay under 245. So hard to do in this freezing weather, when all I want to do is eat and hunker down.. lol
HOWEVER, I got the stationary bicycle out of the spare room and hit it with WD40. Finally got the seat in a better position so I can sit on it more comfortably. It's still too high though and difficult for me to get up on. I'll work on that. I did 10 minutes today so far. My goal for this first week is 10 minutes at a time hopefully 3 X a day! Would like to work up to 30 min at a time and maybe 2 X a day? I tried to finish the amazing soup Linda brought me last night but my stomach wouldn't let me. For some reason all I could manage was crackers with pnut butter and/or cream cheese. I get hungry but then cannot eat much. Never really feel 'full' and that only makes me hungrier. Oh well, I'll work it out. Starting 2018 weighing 239 pounds!
Tomorrow begins another New Year! Another chance to get it right eh? As I do not make 'resolutions' but promises to myself, one of those promises is to continue to lose weight. I have been fairly successful at doing that the past few months. Unfortunately it was because of illness. When you are vomiting and have major bowel problems, eating isn't much of an option. Also, when you are without food in the house and without the funds to buy any you really cannot eat too much! LOL I got myself into a probably unhealthy routine, but it's helped me to take off a few pounds and so far keep them off. My promise is to continue in this track but be sure to eat healthy if possible. My goal for the year is to drop at least another 25 pounds! I can do this. Another promise is to stay off the couch as much as possible and MOVE! This one is difficult as it's also painful. I expect a call from a spine surgeon's office in the coming month to find out if surgery is an option. I'm not happy about going through another surgery alone and hope to find other options for a while. We'll see. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. I need to make it as beneficial as possible! what is going on with me.
I know I have several reasons to be depressed, good reasons. I also know that I am determined to keep depression, and thus fear, out of my heart and mind. My faith is strong and I believe it's stronger than any depression. Love and Fear cannot live in the same heart! So if I fill my heart with God's love, and share that with everyone else, I can keep fear away. I know that God is in control and that I will always be okay! God promises to provide the desires of my heart. Right now that desire is to keep fear and depression at bay... without medication. God provides my needs!! TRUTH! Do I have everything I 'think' I need? NO! Am I totally running out of supplies and food? YES! Am I able to provide for my babies needs? NO, but have food and treats for another week or so. Can God help me? YES! Will God help me? YES! In His most perfect time. reI haven't been here as I have been in great pain and unable to sit at the table. I started my Sunday by falling in the bedroom on my way to the bathroom. I hit the floor hard and jarred my body especially my back. I have not been able to walk without great pain, having to rely on the walker.
My right side and hip hop are hurting now so I'll get off here and back on the sofa and the heating pad. Hugss I would say that for yesterday and today I have 85% less pain. I am so grateful. Since the storms are gone the pain is less. I guess that means I 'll be suffering when the next storms come eh?
Pain is a funny thing. The first movement I make in the morning I feel pain in my leg and immediately I know I 'm still alive. I want to do whatever it takes to not just get through this but to help my body get relief, 100 % relief, from this pain. My wrists are also very painful from all the pressure I've had to put on the walker and my cane. Pain management told me they will address them with injections after my back is taken care of. I sure hope so. I keep dreaming that I'm going to the pool, I want to so much. I dream of chopping the bushes in front that are once again blocking my view of my dogs, etc. I hope I can get them trimmed soon. My goal today is to bathe both dogs, get nails clipped if I can. Launder the bed linens and take a shower so we all 3 are clean and good smelling and have a clean bed to sleep in. That is so important to me! I know I will need rests and hope to list more trains also. This is honestly very ambitious. It seems that having to put so much stress on my hands while using the walker and cane, because of the major sciatic pain in my right leg, I have now messed up the arthritis in both my hands, mostly the left one.
The Pain Management doc said that after they get my sciatica pain under control they will inject my hand.... whopee!! A storm is in the Gulf and dumping a ton of rain on us here in Paradise. This is not helping the sciatica and arthritic pain in my body. Literally when it rains it hurts. And it's been raining for days and days. I am so ready to see the sunshine again, even if it does mean heat and ac, which I haven't had to use for days and days. Good for the power bill but not for my frustration. This storm cannot last forever can it? Funny thing about pain. You struggle to walk around with a walker, depending on it, and sometimes a wheelchair, to get around for nearly a week... then one day the arthritis in your right wrist causes you more pain than you ever felt with your back. So now you cannot use the walker, only a cane until your left hand gives out. Thinking you broke something you spend hours at the ER but it's not broken. It's a life sentence of pain.
When one pain begins to ease up another comes along to take it's place in your suffering.. lol Trying to follow this diet is so difficult. Either I find myself eating too much or not wanting to eat at all at the prescribed times. Also, the portions not withstanding, trying to figure out what veggies I want to eat for breakfast?? lol I can tolerate V8 though.
I'm about to eat a very late breakfast which consists of stuff I should not have.. sorta. The milk is not dairy, it's Silk Almond milk and I don't know what category to put it in. The cereal is Kashi which I bought before the diet thing and it has a lot of whole grains which I am not supposed to have. Since I am allowed one fruit I have a handful of craisons for that and because I need the cranberry for my UTI. What a pain! , Okay, I admit it. I have totally neglected my health, and definitely the exercise, for over a year now.. and trust me I am paying for it.
Last fall I was diagnosed with gastroparesis.. the paralysis of the stomach. My stomach is very slow to send the food on it's way. So now I am dealing with not only the diet for diabetes but also a diet for the gastro... and they are very different. Yesterday I went to a dietician who mainly stressed the gastro diet but we discussed how to coordinate the two. She was very helpful and gave me some really good information. My job this week is to plan meals according to the information and when I can go shopping, next week, to buy the right stuff. Praying that God will direct me and provide the funds so I can take care of myself. The one thing I am once again going to try and do it the exercise. I keep using my back pain as an excuse. Pain or not I need to move. And I saw on tv that they are saying stretching and yoga are better for lower back pain than surgery... I'm for that! It's difficult for me to do yoga, getting up and down off the floor, and some of it goes against my Christian beliefs, but I can start with the stretching.. we'll see. |
I'm back!
Been away for a while dealing with a lot of stuff, not the least has been chronic sciatia! Which, of course has kept me from doing ANY exercise, even just walking around the house. Not sure when I posted the below... At one point I lost nearly 50 pounds! Have gained a few back but still working at it. Turns out Ridlin works.... along with surgery! lol I'm an old, fat lady who needs to get off her butt and move....
Eating less isn't enough and trying to eat right doesn't work. Archives
August 2020
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